Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
