$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
