If i come over, it means nothing
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
