I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
