she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
