Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
