Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize