it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
