Jerry, you need to find god
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
