That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
