did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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