sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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