people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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