batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
