Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
