he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
