I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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