Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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