Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
