nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
