you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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