your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
