your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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