it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize