Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
