i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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