And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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