Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also, beer. Big fan.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
