I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
