i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
