i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
