"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize