She announced her abortion via fbk
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
