yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize