singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
