He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
