I got her a Nickelback box set.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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