a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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