So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
