no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
