I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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