At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
