theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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