Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I want to fling myself into the sun
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
