You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize