Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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