It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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