WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
