Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize