I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
