I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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