Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
my liver is dry heaving
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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