I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
