i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize