Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
