In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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