it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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