i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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