She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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