Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Who wears a wallet chain?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
