i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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