man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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