Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
