sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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