Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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