he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize