I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
