it wasn't lemon gatorade
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize