Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is it because I queefed?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
