Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
