booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this beer tastes like vomit already
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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