How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
