I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
