tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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