# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
